Part II: In Silence

This is the second in a three-part series written in response to three tragic events in America which began July 5, 2016.

“The truth is that the police reflect America in all of its will and fear…”

 -- Ta-Nehisi Coates

Let me say unequivocally that I am horrified by the senseless murders of Dallas’s law enforcement officers.  I hold police and members of the military in the same high regard.  For most of us, even when we are angry about the actions of a few, we also know the majority of police personnel are good people with a dangerous job.  The shootings of Dallas law enforcement officers by a U.S. Army Reservist has agonized me.

The Black Lives Matter protest in Dallas on Thursday, July 7 was peaceful.  Approximately 800 citizens came to voice anger and sadness over the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile on Tuesday and Wednesday.  Marchers were chaperoned by 100 Dallas Police Department and Dallas Area Rapid Transit security officers who protected protesters from motorists, opportunistic anarchists, and people in opposition of their cause.  Officers were prepared for insults, prepared for someone throwing a rock, and trained for crowd containment.  A lone sniper was the last thing on anyone’s mind.

Micah Xavier Johnson, a 25-year-old former U.S. Army Reservist and an aide worker for mentally challenged children, began shooting from an “elevated platform” at 8:58 p.m.  Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings said Johnson fired from several floors of a building near the protest route.  Unsure of the origin of the shooting, many officers rushed into intersections and became targets.  The first police victim returned fire, took cover behind a pillar at an intersection, and was killed by multiple gunshots at point blank range.  In all, Johnson killed five officers and injured seven officers and two protesters.

Twelve officers reportedly returned fire, wounding Johnson.   Police followed Johnson’s blood trail to a parking garage where they negotiated with him for hours before detonating an explosive to kill him.  He reportedly said he was motivated by anger and revenge against white police who killed black men.  Johnson apparently had internalized the message of African American Defense League founder Mauricel-lei Millere who has repeatedly called for violence against police “across the land.”

Former classmates at John Horn High School in the Dallas suburb of Mesquite were “flabbergasted” by what they perceived to be a drastic change in Johnson’s personality.  He was remembered as an easy-going, smart, funny teenager who socialized effortlessly with white students in his high school.  He was involved with junior ROTC and joined the Army Reserve in March, 2009 prior to graduation.  He lived with his mother in their quiet neighborhood until he died.  He had no history of violence.  He had no criminal record.

Johnson’s troubles began to surface when he was serving an eight-month tour of duty in Afghanistan from November, 2013 to July, 2014.  He was a carpentry and masonry specialist who never saw combat.  He also reportedly was accused of sexual harassment by a female Army soldier.  According to his attorney, Bradford Glendening, Johnson’s behavior was so “egregious” the woman sought an order of protection which asked that Johnson “receive mental help.”

Glendening said the Army initiated proceedings to oust Johnson with a less-than-honorable discharge, a move he described as unusually harsh.  “They didn’t like him,” said Glendening.  “That was very clear from talking to his commander.”  Johnson returned to Texas where he continued as a reservist until April, 2015 when he was honorably discharged.

So, what was happening in his mind?  Several mental illnesses manifest in one’s late teens and early 20’s including schizophrenia, major depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder.  The onset of these illnesses may be sudden. More often, onset is gradual and defies diagnosis particularly in teens and young adults who already are emotionally erratic due to physical changes and the stresses of growing up.  Friends and family may have ignored the excitement of an early manic episode or explained away minor depression as “a case of the blues.”

Maybe Johnson did not have symptoms of mental illness.  Was Johnson suddenly tipped over the edge when he was away from home for the first time in a place where nearby mortar explosions created an environment of constant fear?  Did he become obsessed with a female soldier?  Was his ego crushed when she rebuffed inappropriate advances?  Did the Army that he joined as a high school senior break him by labeling him “less than honorable?”  In a combat zone, stress reactions are normal.  Military personnel practice using deadly force until the aggression feels normal.  Did the confluence of undiagnosed mental illness and military life break him or did he think that what he was feeling was normal?

The year 2014 marked a turning point for Johnson.  His Army accuser saw a person in need of mental healthcare.  An unnamed friend reportedly said Johnson began to watch film of the Rodney King beating in Los Angeles over, and over, after returning from Afghanistan.  Neighbors noticed he was practicing shoot-and-scoot maneuvers every day in his backyard.  How did this young man’s increasingly worrisome behavior escape intervention?

The answer lies in the stigmas associated with mental health care and the individual isolation linked with undiagnosed/untreated mental conditions.  Johnson had a job; but after work, he was alone.  Seeking mental health care particularly in military organizations is stigmatized as a weakness.  Coming from that environment, Johnson may have internalized this message.  His distress may have been compounded by an inability to realize his confusion and mood swings were not “normal” but symptoms of a treatable medical condition.  Expressing his troubling thoughts and feelings to friends or coworkers surely would have jeopardized his social life and his job.  Although Johnson had a Facebook presence, his “friends” likely knew nothing of the man’s inner struggle.  Essentially, Johnson was able to slip into a world of murderous rage because he was invisible.

Our mental healthcare systems failed Micah Johnson just as surely as they failed Dallas, Omar Mateen, Orlando, Tashfeen Maleek, and San Bernardino.  There is no question that bigotry and terrorism threaten public safety, but isn’t insanity the greatest risk?  These killers are no longer a threat, but what of the rest of the invisible souls who twist in feelings of rage and despair waiting to break and act and ultimately die at the hands of the brave police who protect us daily?